A quick update, since it's been a bit:
I'm skiing!! I did indeed forgo the bike til spring and procured a M-Th pass at Solitude. It has been splendid! Excellent early season skiing, as far as snow goes. It got a little too spring-ish for my taste last week but it's back on the up and up-- supposed to be storms through the weekend, I believe. I'm certainly not as strong as I used to be, but it's coming back slowly. Sean helped me put together a new ski set-up-- Barons on Gotamas-- they're gorgeous. For those who don't know, Gotamas are stiff Volkl skis, Barons are alpine-touring bindings, so I can ski in the backcountry. He also bought me skins for Christmas: a real sweetheart, if you ask me.
The skis are stiffer and wider underfoot so they're taking some getting used to. It's hard to charge and really use those skis like they're meant to be used when I'm starting out weaker than usual. But whatev, it'll just take longer than I'm used to. I've been skiing with Sean a couple times and he says he doesn't get what I'm complaining about-- I'm seem to be ripping harder than I was last year. Shame I don't feel as strong as I look. *shrug*
As silly as it sounds, considering I just got all of these new toys, I'm contemplating selling the whole set-up (skis, bindings, skins and AT boots) and buying a pair of custom-made boots instead. Since I broke my right foot a couple years ago and didn't go to the doctor, it has been a huge hindrance and I've just been doing my best to ski hard and suffer through the pain. I could also use the boot money to get surgery, rebreak the right foot or shave off the bone, and set the thing right again, but extra surgeries are not that appealing this year, to be honest.
Also, I have started radiation. Had my second treatment 3 hours ago, actually. So far so good, but it's still early on. So far the only side-effect I notice is mild nausea and headaches for a half hour after treatment, and a slight tightness in my chest. I haven't done any sort of running or hiking so I'm not sure how cardio is going to feel-- I'll keep you posted.
I decided to go ahead with radiation after Dr. Fischbach said all the physicians concurred that I should go through with radiation. I was hesitant after witnessing her initial hesitation toward recommending radiation, but she seemed 100% sure after reviewing my pathology with other docs. Even though I'm young, they thought I should go ahead with it because 1) the size of the tumor, 3-4 cms; 2) being HR2 positive; 3) having lymph node positive cancer, and; 4) they found cancerous tissue pushing out of the lymph node capsule into healthy surrounding tissue, which is apparently a very scary situation. I also asked for raw numbers during a second consultation and she said that if I do nothing, I have a 30-35% chance of a local recurrence happening all on its own. She also said I have a 1 in 1,000- 1 in 10,000 chance of getting cancer due to radiation, according to some statistic she seemingly pulled out of her ass. Even if her estimation is off, it's probably not as likely as 30%, so into the cooker I go.
It's unfortunate and sad and I still have worries about getting leukemia, throat, thyroid or lung cancer, and I'm concerned how radiation is going to effect my pec and deltoid, but I guess that's just how it goes. I'll focus on warmer, more enlightening things, like friends, family, school, exercise and books-- the loves of my life.
I am so, so excited for Christmas! Sean heard on NPR that homemade gifts are more the rage this year than they have been in decades-- one of the few perks of recession, I think. I went a similar direction out of necessity, kinda hard to afford Christmas on a disability budget. I'll be going down to Oak City to have Christmas with Dad, Kota and all the sibs. I absolutely love his home and the way it feels-- I couldn't ask for a better Christmas location. Also, I'm really digging that Rock Band is a burgeoning family tradition of ours. I'm not good enough on any of the instruments yet so mostly I sing, but it's so fun to have all of us doing something like that together. Hopefully it snows so we can go sledding on the sand dunes and I can watch my dad explode into a berm at high speeds...so damn funny...
I think I'm going to be back to working again soon, which is just fine by me. The job market didn't seem to get any better during the 8 months I've been watching it. Hopefully I can find something working with teens again; I really miss it. I don't particularly miss being away from friends, family, routine exercise, social events and all things normal about life for 8 days at a time like I was doing at Second Nature, but I'll take what I can find. Knowing my luck, they probably don't need anyone right now anyway.
I'm going to ski, strengthen, read, job-search, drink hot drinks like it's my job, and try my hardest to avoid egg nog for the next month. And celebrate my birthday somewhere in there. My o my, what a strange way to spend year 24. Let's hope year 25 has better things in store!!
Love all of you and wish you the best during these beautiful holidays! Spend it with those you love.
